By: Lindsey Dietz
￼ It’s no secret that I believe in the amazing benefits of coffee enemas.
Kind of a weird statement right out of the gate, right? No worries….I won’t be embarrassed if you won’t be, deal?
My Coffee Enema Story
These films document an alternative cancer treatment known as the Gerson Therapy, which utilizes raw vegetable juice and coffee enemas. This therapy, which is illegal in the United States, has an astounding success rate — which is unfortunately not documented because U.S. doctors refuse to recognize, or even study, this treatment.
(That’s another rant for another day…)
Anyway, after The Hubs and I watched these films, we were super curious about coffee enemas. Could shooting coffee up your bum really detox the body so effectively as to cure not only cancer, but other degenerative diseases too?!
We both admit, however, that we weren’t curious enough to actually try them. Not then anyway…
Fast forward a couple of years.
I was having major gallbladder issues — as in The Hubs threatened to load me up and haul me to the ER the next time I had a gallbladder attack. Or he was going to remove it himself. Because y’all, gallbladder pain is THE WORST. So I did some research and came across The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse by Andreas Moritz. And part of this cleanse was, you guessed it, coffee enemas.
There was no turning back.
I felt I was faced with an ultimatum: gallbladder removal or coffee enemas.
The choice was simple.
Fast forward another two years…
I’m still doing coffee enemas!
I also still have my gallbladder — which I’m happy to report is behaving much more nicely now.
I’ve seen firsthand the healing power that coffee enemas have had on my digestive system. No more gallbladder pain is just the tip of the iceberg.
This is totally gross but also totally normal: I’ve also cleared by body of parasites and gall stones I didn’t even know I had!
My colon had a lot of yucky old stuff in it that’s now gone too.
Coffee enemas have improved my energy levels and mental clarity.
In fact, I have not had one negative thing happen in my body as a result of performing coffee enemas. Not one!
Unexpected Benefits of Coffee Enemas
Coffee enemas were supposed to help my gallbladder, my digestion, and my brain fog.
1. Stronger Pelvic Floor Muscles.
Mommas, let’s have a heart to heart real quick. It is a fact of motherhood that, after the arrival of that blessed bundle of joy, the muscles that once allowed you to go hours without peeing no longer seem to do their job, am I right? Sure, my postpartum bladder was a lot less bothersome than my pregnant bladder — meaning, I didn’t have to pee every 13 minutes.
But sneezing? Coughing? Laughing?
Those activities became a lot more challenging. Because I’d wet my pants without even realizing I had to go to begin with!
Will somebody please tell me I’m not alone in this??
Even YEARS after having my babies, I couldn’t jump on the trampoline or even go jogging without … ahem … leaking into my knickers.
Everyone says to do Kegel exercises, but seriously, who remembers or doesn’t feel slightly awkward about that?
I’ll be honest here: holding in coffee enemas for the first few weeks was challenging. But slowly, over time, it got easier and easier.
Coffee enemas require you to focus a lot on the lower area of your body, and that focus and concentration is what enables you to hold the liquid in your colon for 10-15 minutes at a time.
Bonus! That lower body concentration translates to your lady parts — and tones those muscles too! I could not make this stuff up, y’all.
I haven’t done Kegel exercises in my life, but I do put 30-40 minutes of focus into retaining a coffee enema everyday — which means my loose lady muscles are getting 30-40 minutes of strength training and toning every.single.day.
I can jog (except I don’t because I hate it, but I could hypothetically jog
a 5K to my mailbox without tinkling on myself). I can jump on the trampoline with my kids and jump off with dry undies. I can even make it through the freezer section of Costco without needing to tinkle! It’s glorious! And all because I kept at this coffee enema thing.
2. Super Clear Skin
I’ve always been pretty blessed in the facial skin department. I never dealt with severe acne on my face, and I can’t imagine how difficult that is.
I did have quite a lot of small zits on my back though — which is so not fun. And, every month, I would get 2-4 pimples on my face during the week before my period. Guess what? Not anymore!
I have had maybe seven zits in the past two years. Maybe. I believe coffee enemas have detoxed my body so well that I no longer have toxins escaping through my skin and causing breakouts. Because before coffee enemas? Back and face breakouts. Two years later? No back or face breakouts. And one zit every few months is way better than “normal” anyway!
If you eat really clean but still have skin issues, give coffee enemas a try for a few weeks. I bet it improves! ￼
3. A Well-Hydrated Body
Coffee enemas = Water + Coffee.
The colon is very good at absorbing water.
This explains why bowel movements are often dry and hard in constipated folks and why drinking more water is always recommended if constipation is an issue — because the colon re-absorbs any remaining water in the feces if the body is dehydrated.
While drinking plenty of water-based liquids, such as herbal tea, bone broth, and of course, water, is always the best way to stay hydrated, our bodies’ water requirements can fluctuate. Sometimes you may not be drinking enough water and you don’t even realize it!
Sometimes, when doing a coffee enema, you won’t eliminate as much liquid as you put in to your colon in the first place.
This is no cause for concern, however. It simply means that your colon absorbed the water from the enema because you needed it!
Proper hydration is excellent for EVERYTHING: skin health, energy levels, mental clarity, proper digestion and elimination, kidney health, and more.
So although coffee enemas aren’t a replacement for drinking enough fluids, a side benefit of doing them is that any re-absorption of water means you’re better hydrated!
4. Relief from Menstrual Pain and Fatigue
I get my period every month, just like you. And just like yours, it’s not a walk in the park.
Although cleaning up my diet and reducing environmental toxins in my life helped the pain and discomfort of my monthlies tremendously, I still experience cramps, body aches, and tiredness.
I don’t take Tylenol, Advil, Midol, or anything else for relief. I discovered pretty quickly that coffee enemas are amazing, all-natural pain relief — along with The Best Period Drink Ever.
The pain-reducing qualities of coffee enemas were discovered during World War I. Legend has it that a nurse accidentally poured coffee instead of water into a patient’s enema. When she gave it to him, the pain from his injuries subsided (source).
Another story says that coffee enemas were used during the war when morphine was in short supply (source).
Either way, I can personally testify to a coffee enema’s ability to reduce pain, discomfort, and fatigue during my period.
5. Peace and Quiet
I think this one’s pretty self-explanatory. I mean, bathroom business isn’t exactly a public event — unless, of course, you have children under the age of 5 running around, in which case, I applaud you, salute you, pray for you, and advise you to do coffee enemas while your hubby’s at home.
You don’t have to be on a specific healing protocol, such as Nutritional Balancing or the Gerson Therapy, to do or benefit from coffee enemas. And if you choose to do them, you get to be alone, in peace and quiet, for at least 20 minutes!
Who doesn’t love the thought of that?
I think coffee enemas are wonderfully relaxing. You can reasonably do any activity that you would do whilst laying in bed: read a book, catch up on social media, close your eyes, listen to soft music.
I love to take my iPad into the bathroom with me and use the time to watch an episode of whatever show I’m into. (Right now, it’s Call the Midwife on Netflix!)
I am a person who needs alone time every day. I am the best version of myself when I have regular time to myself. I am able to be a better wife and mommy if I get that time. It doesn’t have to be long spans of time — which is why a coffee enema is the ultimate multi-tasker.
I am actively detoxing my liver, gallbladder, and colon while getting that time alone AND staying hydrated AND keeping my skin clear AND getting relief from fatigue AND toning my pelvic floor muscles. How cool is that?!
Have you ever done a coffee enema? Are you surprised to learn that coffee enemas have some unexpected benefits?